This time last year I was in a difficult place. My anxiety (which I had had for several years but had hidden from my family) spiraled out of control, I was put on sick leave and later left my job. My family… were shocked to say the least and tried to understand but didn’t really get it. I struggled for months, my anxiety making everyday feel like a challenge. Things started to turn around once I set up this blog. I had something to aim for, people on Twitter actually understood me and after a 6 month wait I finally got offered counselling. Anyway I’m not going to go over the whole of the last 6/7 months but suffice to say I’m in a much better place now. Still a long way to go but I’m so much happier now =)
The last 6 weeks or so I’ve been feeling particularly good and I noticed something… I seem to have regained my sense of adventure! I haven’t had that for years! All of a sudden I want to push myself more and more, I want to race through my bucket list, I want to take off and explore and live. What happened to the girl who was willing to go without excitement if it meant she didn’t have to feel afraid? The girl who would rather hide away than face any of her fears? I don’t know but frankly I’m glad she’s gone! Now suddenly I’m considering trading in my car for a campervan (yes seriously!) and exploring the UK, then Europe. I’m done with hoping for an uneventful fear-free life! I have practically wasted the last 8 years of my life so I’ve got some catching up to do! I’m done with being boring, I want to set off without a destination in mind and see where I end up!
So whats with the change of heart? I’ve realized something. The more I avoid fear, the more afraid I become. The more I face fear and push through it, the more confident I become and the less it affects me. So bring it on =D Two of my biggest fears are heights and planes… Skydive anyone?!
As the above song says:
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway
PS I was joking about the skydive! 😉