Chasing pavements

This is one of my all time favourite songs, even though I’m not a fan of most of Adele’s work (sorry to any Adele fans reading this, just my honest opinion). It was released in 2007, the year I left school and it seems to have followed me through life since then. Every time I have a difficult decision about which path to take, the song comes to mind. Naturally the song has been on a loop in my head since the weekend. If you missed my posts about my work situation here is part 1 and part 2.

I’m a very creative person and I tend to link images and music to my situation, hence the songs I have been attaching to my posts… The image I’m getting for this situation is me stood on a path which forks into 3 or 4 different paths and I don’t know which one to take. Its not very original I know, but that is the image I have been imagining.

The way I see it I have several choices:

  • Look for jobs similar to the ones I’ve lost. This would be my preference but there doesn’t seem to  be much of this work going at the moment.
  • Look for a stable PT job (supermarket, shop, bar etc) This would be something completely new and the idea terrifies me.
  • Go back to college. College was a really tough time for me, my anxiety during lessons was sky high. Do I really want to do that again? Especially at the same college. (In the UK college is where you go between leaving school at 16 and starting university at 18. I know that in a lot of countries college means university but here they are different.)
  • Look into local apprenticeship schemes I am seriously thinking about this one. I could get an apprenticeship in a school to train to be a teaching assistant. I do really enjoy working with children.

The issue is as usual my anxiety and over-thinking brain are getting in the way. The jobs I have lost were jobs that I knew I could do despite my anxiety. New jobs or college courses terrify me. I don’t know if I could handle them. I end up arguing with myself, its exhausting. For now I’m going to keep looking at my options and hope that something perfect for me comes along soon. What would you do in my situation?

Take care,

Hayley x

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One thought on “Chasing pavements

  1. A combination of getting a pt job and looking at education or apprenticeship for long term. Just keep your mind open to ideas and possibilities, even though it is still allnew and overwhelming now. ((hugs))

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