Sorry for the Bieber reference but it seemed pretty appropriate. I’ve been wrestling with myself for the last couple of weeks and the song has been going round my head on a loop. Have you noticed that when a song fits the situation you’re in, you can’t get it out of your head? Maybe that’s just me…
I’m writing here today to say sorry to some people who have been dear friends to me, despite the fact we’ve never met. Sheena, Jase, Sarah, Alex, Rose, Felicity, I can’t name everyone but basically everyone who I’ve bonded with on the blog and on twitter. This apology has been a long time coming but I didn’t know to start, I’m still winging it now if I’m being totally honest… How can I justify disappearing from the blog for the best part of a year, only popping up on twitter every few weeks and then nothing at all since December? I can’t.
The last few months have been a total blur. Work was hellish. The stress, hectic long days and realising that the people I worked for had zero respect for me really wore me down. I seemed to lose all of my creativity and imagination and when I sat down to write the words wouldn’t come. Plus when I got home I was normally so tired I couldn’t even be bothered to go online, that’s not like me! So I stopped logging in to Twitter and the blog and weeks later when I changed my phone I didn’t think to sign in to those accounts, so I didn’t get any notifications.
So here I am months later, I left my job a few weeks ago (very long story that I am so not getting into right now!) and I’m starting to feel like me again. My creativity and imagination are slowly reappearing, although I am still struggling. It’s taken me a ridiculous amount of time to just write this much. I feel like over the 11 months that I was working in that job, I’ve lost a part of myself and it hasn’t come back yet. My friend S who I’ve mentioned in a few other posts, said she thought I’d lost my spark and positivity, that the job had slowly ground me down. I guess she’s right. I’ll get back to normal eventually right?
Anyway enough about all of that, it doesn’t matter. I’m here today to say I’m sorry for the disappearing act. I logged back onto Twitter for the first time this year to find a lot of messages, some of them six months old! I couldn’t believe that the last time I was on Twitter was November! I’m sorry for being a rubbish friend, I’m sorry for not staying in touch. I can’t promise that I’ll be online everyday or every week because I’m going through a few changes and nothing is decided yet (I hope to explain more about that soon.) But I hope to catch up and I hope everyone is doing well.